In this essay, I would like to invite you to consider the question of the role of God or lack thereof in our lives. One of the questions that I pose to couples who ask me to perform their wedding ceremony by way of premarital counseling is "What role, if any, do religion and spirituality play in your life? Needless to say, I've received a variety of answers to that question ranging from "none" to "religion is a priority in our lives."
In this writing, I would like to, if at all possible, go over and beyond the question of what the church or any community of faith has to say about any given issue. I know that for many people, what the faith community (be it church, masjid, synagogue, etc.) has to say is the equivalent of what God has to say. In other words, for many people, the community of faith is the voice of God. God, they say, speaks through the community of faith and its scriptures and traditions. For these persons, we cannot speak about God unless we include the community of faith in the conversation.
For other people, God is someone with whom they have an individual relationship with. It is almost like saying that these persons have a private "pipeline" through which they communicate with God. They bypass what the consider to be the "razzle dazzle" of organized religion and its policies and structures, and go "right to the top." For them, the community of faith is not even a necessary component of their spiritual journey since the relationship with God is an "individual thing." They would be bound to think in terms of "Me and God, we've got a thing going on." Therefore, their attitude is "the hell with what the religious institution says, I'm going to do my own thing, and I'm sure that God is on board with me."
I will not take the time at this point to engage in the debate of "individual vs. community" relative to the issue of the role of God in our lives. Nevertheless, I would like to pose the following questions for our consideration and dialogue.
1. Has God given us instructions and guidelines by which to live, or does God leave it up to us to carve out our own lifestyles?
2. If, indeed, God has given us guidelines, where do we find them? Are they to be found in the Bible, the Holy Qu'aran, the Buddhist Scriptures, the Gospel according to Pinocchio,, or in some other written document? Or are these guidelines and instructions to be found somewhere else other than in written documents? Are our individual feelings, outlooks, and perspectives the equivalent of these guidelines?
3. Does God really give a damn if I am living in a common-law relationship without the formality of marriage, or has God set down a set of rules governing the relationship between partners?
4. Does God really care if I play the lotto, or does God have something to say about that?
5. Is God really concerned with such things as gambling at the casino, and dancing with someone other than my wife?
6. Is God going to have a tantrum, or as some would say "a cow," because I smoke an occasional cigar or pipe? Is God going to get "all bent and out of shape," because on certain occasions I've either used or thought of using weed for purposes of entertainment?
These are just a few of many more questions that we might ask in terms of whether or not God is involved in our lives to the extent of telling us or even suggesting how we should live. If we say that God speaks through the community of faith and its scriptures and traditions, by saying "the hell with what the church says," are we not in essence saying "the hell with what God says?" If on the other hand, we take the approach of an individual pipeline to heaven, can we then equate how we feel and view things with how God views things? Are we not then, in this case, setting ourselves up as God, by making our individual and personal viewpoints the ultimate truth?
Please talk with us on these matters, as they are in one way or the other, important to all of our lives. Tell us if you would rather have God mind God's own business while you live your life according to your whims and dictates, or would you be more comfortable with the notion that God has given you a set of guidelines to go by so that you can have a more fruitful and productive life?
Grace and peace,
Dr. Juan A. Ayala-Carmona
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